I went to church with two of my girlfriends on Sunday and the sermon was about “healing”. The pastor spoke about the time when a toddler is learning to walk, that he/she will lift up on something, put each step out (making steps), the legs will get wobbly and they’ll fall but as a parent/loved one, the baby will be picked up and will start again. He talked about similar situations to this, and went to the issue of being hurt. He went through the scars on his body, about how they hurt when he got them but then they healed.
This made me first think about my scars, but then made me take this thought a bit deeper. We have all been hurt by objects (scrapes, bruises, bullet wounds, etc.), loved ones, co-workers, role models, etc. but it is up to us to get to the “healed” phase. I was in a relationship that, when it was over, caused me to have a lot of doubts about being in a committed relationship. It wasn’t until I took a step back, evaluated a few things, and drew a conclusion (that it was not me, and infidelity was something deeply-rooted in this individual), that I was able to begin “healing.” I still randomly speak to this individual and his family, and my friends have asked “how do you talk to him?”, “how can you not hate him?”. The only way I have been able to do this was to take a step back, get over it, and heal, so that I can be myself and not limit myself to a state of distrust and bitterness.
The truth is that, with time and taking myself to a state of forgiveness, I have been able to get to a state of healing/being healed. Not to take anyone down memory lane, with a past relationship, but I hope that this puts things in perspective, and perhaps helps you take a “hurtful” relationship to a state of healing.