Alma (my stepmom) said that her friend had come to grasp the situation so well that she had planned her own funeral. It was very weird…she wrote her own obituary, and even purchased all the outfits for everyone to wear at her funeral.

I saw this as a very drastic approach to coping with death, however that’s what she wanted so everyone respected it.

At 25, I have not had to deal with too many deaths, especially not my best friends. The one thing I took away from my talk with my stepmom was that you never know what tomorrow brings, what God has instore and to make the best out of every moment of every day!

The past few weeks have been VERY busy.  I have quite a few new clients, a wedding that I’m planning, a new company that I’m trying to launch this year, AND I’m in graduate school and it’s finals!  I have been working around the clock with very little sleep, gym time, food time, play with puppy time, etc.  I was speaking to my friend and he explained that I just need to stop and go to bed.  However, I feel that whenever I get ready to do that, my brain thinks of “one more” thing to do.  I’m sure that this is not just the life of a busy entrepreneur but the typical story of many individuals who really enjoy the work that they do.  I really don’t see it as work, which is probably the problem.  My girlfriend and I were talking and she was explaining that she gets about 4 hours of sleep because of her ventures.  It’s very funny because her bbm (Blackberry Messenger) status is “I’m married to my CPA for now” and I can relate.  The work/life balance is being neglected at the present time, but I shall return to it in a few weeks.

Please tell me I’m not the only one doing this crazy cycle to myself.  Do you do the same thing, or what do you do to balance it all?

Erika Swilley took a life altering situation and made it her career mission.  At the age of 17, Erika’s brother (younger by 4 years) was killed in a car accident while being with friends.  This was the summer before her senior of high school.  She described some of the family dynamics of a father losing his only son, and a sister losing a bother that she was very close to.  Even at 17, she had a mature mindset about the tragedy.  When most could have had an array of emotions about the causers of the accident, Erika had a very mature take on it.  She was very fortunate to have a family that came together and provided a great support system, but even more so, the opportunity to take the situation a step further.

Erika’s brother dreamed of playing in the NBA.  So, Erika kind of takes her position with the Detroit Pistons as part of her brother.  In her position she helps individuals and communities on an everyday basis, which is sometimes her inspiration.

Erika says that from this experience she has realized that “your life and the people around you are so precious, and you have to know and make the best of your time here.  There are no guarantees in life.”  I found talking to  her about this to not only be surprisingly, but also inspiring to see how Erika took an absolutely horrible situation, and has made lots of good come from it.  I am SURE that she is making her brother proud.

To get back on the business-side of things, Erika’s desire to gain professional experience began while she was in high school, when many are not thinking about their future lives.  In high school, she got her feet wet by interning at Chicago radio stations in their marketing and promotions departments.  From there (in college), she furthered her professional experience by working at a marketing firm that worked with record labels (different artists campaigns).  During the school year she worked on campus but planning events for students.

Upon graduating from college, her first job was at a marketing company in Chicago, and her client was Ringley Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus.  While in that position, she traveled the nation doing community work and promotions, with the local cities that the circus went to.  After that, Erika worked with the Chicago park district creating programs and marketing campaigns that kept at-risk youth off the streets.  After gaining that experience, she joined the Detroit Pistons team and has been with them for 5 years.

When I asked about how she balances her personal life, with her time consuming work life, she stated that it’s definitely hard to balance the two, but she tries to leave work at work and surround herself with good people and family/friends.

The one word of advice she gives, that she wishes another successful woman would have told her, is that “you’re always going to be looked at different because you are a woman, you have to work much harder and you’re not going to be able to please everyone.”

Q & A:

What college did you attend? The University of Missouri-Columbia

What was your major? Marketing, Communications, and Sociology

What are your favorite beauty products? Moroccan oil products (shampoo condition, hydrating mask for hair.  Less is more.  Natural beauty is the prettiest.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Getting my nails and hair done.  I get them done more than the average person.

What’s your favorite book? I have quite a few, but the one I will say is something that can appeal to everyone.  It’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” by Dr. Seuss.

I have a greater appreciation for life, and an even better one for my friend.  I hope that this may help or inspire you, if going through a similar situation.

My girlfriend and I went to Indianapolis for the NCAA Men’s Final Four with one of my girlfriend’s who is also an entrepreneur.  We decided to pack our bags, hit the road and go to Indy to network.  So, we got on LinkedIn, Facebook and our email to start letting business contacts know that we would be in town and ready to network with other professionals.  We were welcomed with open arms by the business community. As professionals in the sports world, this was the ideal environment for us to be in.

We were able to rub shoulders and talk business with NCAA players and coaches, perspective sponsors and all around good people. Although the sports world is very male-dominated, I must say that overall I have found the males and females in the industry to be very welcoming and able to open doors for individuals like my friend an myself.   I am so happy that we decided to take this trip.  It was well worth the 4.5 hour drive, cornfields and bad radio!

I went to church with two of my girlfriends on Sunday and the sermon was about “healing”.  The pastor spoke about the time when a toddler is learning to walk, that he/she will lift up on something, put each step out (making steps), the legs will get wobbly and they’ll fall but as a parent/loved one, the baby will be picked up and will start again.  He talked about similar situations to this, and went to the issue of being hurt.  He went through the scars on his body, about how they hurt when he got them but then they healed.

This made me first think about my scars, but then made me take this thought a bit deeper.  We have all been hurt by objects (scrapes, bruises, bullet wounds, etc.), loved ones, co-workers, role models, etc. but it is up to us to get to the “healed” phase.  I was in a relationship that, when it was over, caused me to have a lot of doubts about being in a committed relationship.  It wasn’t until I took a step back, evaluated a few things, and drew a conclusion (that it was not me, and infidelity was something deeply-rooted in this individual), that I was able to begin “healing.”  I still randomly speak to this individual and his family, and my friends have asked “how do you talk to him?”, “how can you not hate him?”.  The only way I have been able to do this was to take a step back, get over it, and heal, so that I can be myself and not limit myself to a state of distrust and bitterness.

The truth is that, with time and taking myself to a state of forgiveness, I have been able to get to a state of healing/being healed.  Not to take anyone down memory lane, with a past relationship, but I hope that this puts things in perspective, and perhaps helps you take a “hurtful” relationship to a state of healing.